"Some people come into our lives,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same."
She was supposed to outlive us all. Active, fit. Wide-eyed and carefree. Quick with a laugh, a bad joke. A free spirit. Always in pursuit of her dreams. Fulfilling so many of them.
I am shattered.
She was a soul sister. A source of inspiration, comfort, and even frustration. A lifelong friend... but her life was too short. It's not fair. It's tragic. It's bullshit.
It was brain cancer.
My heart aches desperately. But, I have to write for her. She loved my writing (God only knows why). She used to tell me I would write her life story. I might have to. But, I can not imagine doing it without her. How can I capture all the wonderful ways she touched people's lives? How can I encapsulate the joy and zest for life that radiated from her pores? How can I... ?
The memories flood. I'm drowning in sorrow.
Camping, hiking, eating crabs, inauguration, concerts, blue bucks, Ben's chili cheese fries, an Alabama vacation, waterskiing, Match.com dates, New Year's, St. Paddy's day, so many Franklin's dinners, yoga, grocery shopping for hours, Chicago for July 4, couch surfing at my DC apartment with Sean, fitness classes, "shumachi!" Already I miss her passion for gummy and sour candies, the obsession with giraffes. I'd give anything to hear her sing Lady Gaga off-key.
My times with her are forever part of me.
Some days, I get dressed for work or a dinner out, and I think of her. "What would Miranda wear with this outfit?" And I choose a chunky necklace, a colorful scarf, a saucy belt. I choose her essence and swagger to get me through so many moments. It's almost as though I go back in time. I want to have dance parties in the living room, throw everything from the cupboards into a random stir fry for dinner, just eat mac n' cheese out of a big bowl, watch So You Think You Can Dance, laugh at how many "favorite" NFL teams she claimed, talk about big BIG dreams of the future and traveling. I want to do anything to just be in her comfortable company. I'll never forget her smile, her huge heart, our wonderful adventures. I'll miss her and love her for always.
You don't find friendships like ours everyday.
Our lives, once intertwined daily, drifted in new directions. But, I always knew we'd find a way back together. She'd always be okay - so strong, so independent, so vibrantly living her dreams. Then, a brain tumor. Our fighter, she dove into a battle like nothing ever before. Cancer sucks, and the treatments sucked. The new challenges of living with the circumstances sucked. It was painful for me, but not like what she faced. I was helpless. No words, no wisdom.
She was a soul sister. A source of inspiration, comfort, and even frustration. A lifelong friend... but her life was too short. It's not fair. It's tragic. It's bullshit.
It was brain cancer.
My heart aches desperately. But, I have to write for her. She loved my writing (God only knows why). She used to tell me I would write her life story. I might have to. But, I can not imagine doing it without her. How can I capture all the wonderful ways she touched people's lives? How can I encapsulate the joy and zest for life that radiated from her pores? How can I... ?
The memories flood. I'm drowning in sorrow.
Camping, hiking, eating crabs, inauguration, concerts, blue bucks, Ben's chili cheese fries, an Alabama vacation, waterskiing, Match.com dates, New Year's, St. Paddy's day, so many Franklin's dinners, yoga, grocery shopping for hours, Chicago for July 4, couch surfing at my DC apartment with Sean, fitness classes, "shumachi!" Already I miss her passion for gummy and sour candies, the obsession with giraffes. I'd give anything to hear her sing Lady Gaga off-key.
My times with her are forever part of me.
Some days, I get dressed for work or a dinner out, and I think of her. "What would Miranda wear with this outfit?" And I choose a chunky necklace, a colorful scarf, a saucy belt. I choose her essence and swagger to get me through so many moments. It's almost as though I go back in time. I want to have dance parties in the living room, throw everything from the cupboards into a random stir fry for dinner, just eat mac n' cheese out of a big bowl, watch So You Think You Can Dance, laugh at how many "favorite" NFL teams she claimed, talk about big BIG dreams of the future and traveling. I want to do anything to just be in her comfortable company. I'll never forget her smile, her huge heart, our wonderful adventures. I'll miss her and love her for always.
You don't find friendships like ours everyday.
Even so, she lived her life so completely. So fully. With abandon.
Dancing, climbing, getting into the wilderness, seeing the world, loving her family, adoring her friends, venturing beyond her limits. A tiny dynamo. With her boundless energy and life-loving enthusiasm, she shed light into this world.
Maybe she did "outlive" all of us. She lived all out. She lived.
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