No more Ms. Nice Guy

Every once in a while, I let the rage overcome all my rational senses. Even when it does occur, I rarely let it show. I'm a pretty darned caring person, but occasionally, I've had enough.

And, I have had enough. Starting right now.

Let me tell you a few things I've learned about people. There are essentially two kinds: those you can trust and those who will tear your heart out with lies, selfishness, and arrogance. My mind clouded with anger, I hope - just for a moment - that the heart-tearing kind have a special place reserved in a fiery torture chamber, where they are faced with their deceit, incongruencies, and emptiness. There, they feel alone and must confront the person they actually are.

I do not wish hell-on-earth to many people, but I can think of one deserving person today. And, I hope he burns himself up from the inside.

Like I said, I am a caring, loving person. I try very hard to put others first, show my emotions honestly, and be authentic.

But, for this out-of-character moment, let me be the first to show him the way into Hades. Here's the door. I'd wish him well... but that would be a lie.

Being angry isn't right or rational or compassionate. It doesn't change reality. But, damn if it doesn't feel a little good sometimes.

Thanks. I needed that.

Oh, and just for good measure... one of my more angry poems (written previously, but suitable for my "mean" moment):

Unrelenting
rearing of its vicious
cyclical curse,
hexing my brain,
niggling my thoughts,
screaming its banshee wail -
A cry so mournful.

Its green eyes flashing against
midnight skies and stars of which
I am not one.
Rage coloring my pupils,
dilated pained innards,
wounds me.
Claws scraping vulnerable skin,
discolored and mutated
in its possession.

Me, outside or
beside myself -
cautiously watching,
carelessly controlling emotions
beyond breaking points,
hearts,
barriers.

Oh, nameless words
and sightless scenes
tear jealous bones
and shards of soul -
slicing shamelessly.
I crave flaming,
burn the monster love.

I perish
amidst coals and embers you lit -
One look
its only ignition.