Feelin' the burn

"You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and in the manner in which you live." - Stuart Scott

Sporting my short 'do. And, check out that radiation burn
on the upper left side of my chest.

Four treatments stand between me and the end of radiation, y'all! Thankfully, the past 29 sessions have gone smoothly, and I feel like a pro at the routine. As predicted, I started experiencing skin irritations after the first 3 weeks or so. Basically, I have a radiation burn (which looks and feels like a bad sunburn) concentrated in a few places where the beams are especially targeted. The worst burn spots are a little scaly, and the skin flakes off regularly. Multiple times each day I apply a heavy duty moisturizing lotion to all the areas being treated, and I've also added an anti-itch cream and burn balm to the skin care regimen.

Last Friday was my first of five radiation "boost" treatments. The dose of radiation remains the same, but the rays are now directed solely at the area where my tumor was (and there is now scar tissue) and at the lymph nodes under my arm. As I'm sure you can imagine, the burn on the sensitive skin just below my armpit is INTENSE, and I've been waking up yowling in pain the past few nights. Burn cream is my new midnight bestie.

In the weeks since my last post, the summer heat has intensified, and my downy little hair has filled in simultaneously. The synthetic material of my wig became stifling, metaphorically and physically. Honestly, wearing it while a mostly full head of hair emerged beneath it felt fake to me in a way it hadn't before. So, I've reached a point where I'm no longer donning my wig at all... I haven't put it on since we returned from a wonderful 4th of July trip to visit close friends in Cleveland.

Without the stocking cap of hair, I've grown more confident in my closely cropped style. Still, I occasionally glance in a mirror and am surprised by own reflection - I kind of like the look! It's a bit shorter than a typical pixie cut, and the color is a tad darker than my roots used to be. Of course Sean thinks I'm cute, and I've also started receiving compliments from friends and acquaintances. I definitely appreciate the affirmation... it's going to be a long time before my hair is at a length I've rocked before. Here's to this in-between time!

We spent a memorable weekend photographing baby
mountain goats atop Colorado's 14,000 ft Mt. Evans.

In fact, that's sort of what these past few weeks have been overall: a time between. I'm actively undergoing treatment, but I'm mostly just living life. What life looks like has changed some - especially with five days a week in the Cancer Center for radiation - but overall, it's summertime. Sean and I have been out on several weekends seeking to photograph the wildlife and their spring babies (he even bought me a really nice new camera!). The pace of our days feels slower, I'm being more reflective and prayerful, connecting with family and friends is a priority, and I'm soaking up the rays outside, too.

With radiation winding down, I will have about six weeks of respite before I start taking capecitabine, the oral chemo pill, on September 12. I'm making the most of this time of feeling normal and healthy. I'm striving to keep stress at bay, eat cancer-fighting foods, take regular walks, and practice self-care overall - things we all should be focused on regardless of our cancer status!

My acupuncturist recently said I have a "glow" about me... and I don't think it's just radiation burn.

I'm choosing to shine.