Getting yourself killed: A lesson

I wish I could say that I have many brilliant observations about the East Coast culture that will have my midwestern friends flocking out here. Sadly, though, I really have the greatest number of observations about things like, oh, DRIVING. When people say that life on the coast is fast-paced, it's a literal observation. People drive like maniacs. If you hear that midwesterners are so nice, especially compared to easterners, the speaker specifically means this is true when driving.

Now, I enjoy speeding as much as the next guy (some of y'all may recall a little speeding ticket for my going 88 mph in a work zone), but this is insanity. I honestly saw an eighteen-wheeler pass a mercedes sports coupe in the left lane. That truck driver was going upwards of 95 mph. Danny has said a few funny things in recent days (see previous post about all our QT of late), not the least of which was when - with complete honesty and awe - he said that he will not drive on the innermost lane of the beltway or he'll die. Clearly that means I MUST drive in that lane whenever possible :)

So, while the highways are a bit nutty, it's the Baltimore byways that actually get me all mixed up. Not once, but twice, in the last few days have I found myself entering intersections when the light turns red. I'm a deer-in-headlights for a split-second, then it's like "screw it, I can't stop now." Hence, I never actually see the dirty looks and flipped birds I surely receive. The heart-stopping-followed-by-heart-racing experience is my cardio workout of late. It's not that I am an idiot, but rather that I am so utterly befuddled by the one-way streets and multitude of interstate signs (telling me to get in the right lane, then the left lane, then back again) which point toward my desired destination. I completely miss stoplights because my eyes are focused on (a) the guy in front of me and his constant braking or (b) the guy behind me crawling up my ass or (c) the guy to my right/left attempting to nose into my lane.

Twelve years ago, I got a "C" in driver's ed. My skills have only slightly improved. At least I can parallel park now...