Birthdays and loss... not a great combo

Me with my sisters and nephew on my birthday

Me and Sarah, celebrating my birthday.

I spent last weekend in Chicago with friends and family there. Sadly, upon my arrival at home, I learned a good friend (from here in Maryland) had passed away unexpectedly. Suddenly, a normally joyous occasion (I do love my birthdays) was colored by pain. The last week has been a bit of a blur. It's strange, going to work and not having Ken there. We move on and move forward, but the sense of loss pervades so much.

I'm still reflecting on what it means. It's hard to celebrate another year in my own life when a special person is gone. Honestly, it hasn't fully sunk in yet. My own experiences with loss of a loved one are limited. Beyond the devastating death of my great aunt a few years ago, I cannot say I many people around me have died.

Cognitively, I realize it is so important to learn to cope with death - to grieve and adjust and reflect. Emotionally, there are so many intangible, unsettling realities. The moments of sorrow. Ken deserves to be missed and remembered.

So, that's what I'm doing now.