Astin says my time is a resource... I'm finding it in short supply

"You will never find time for anything. If you want the time, you must make it."
- Charles Buxton

As the semester is swinging into gear, I find that time is practically nonexistent. A well-known researcher in student affairs (Alexander Astin) theorized that students' time is a resource, and I'm beginning to think my time is in shorter supply than Middle Eastern oil. Okay, okay... I realize I do not always use my time in the most effective manner. For example, I seem to waste an inordinate amount of time talking with new friends and co-workers. I suppose that's not wasteful, if I allow for the significant value I place on relationship-building; however, I tend to be hard on myself because I often socialize to avoid other work. All of the pressures of "getting it done" culminated for me this week, when my body started shutting down on me. Blurry eyesight, chronic headaches, consistent fatigue, and unexpected irritability have signaled the onset of stress. I heard an advanced doctoral student in my program say this week that he's not a procrastinator; he's "pressure-prompted." That seems to describe the way I've approached my studies since college. I'm attempting to develop a new approach for myself, but it's slow going. I still would rather sit and chat over a cup of coffee than outline a paper or read volumes.

Obviously, reading all of the materials for my courses has impacted the direction of my reflection nowadays. I recollect this stage from the master's program. Essentially, when I begin absorbing information about developmental theories, I begin to synthesize and incorporate those ideas into my own self-understanding. Certainly, this tendency makes for some emotional turmoil, too. What are my multiple identity dimensions? Have I reconciled those? Where do I fit in the graduate student development theories? Am I consciously competent? Or, am I simply stupid :)

That was getting heavy, eh? Anyway, I'm being pretty thoughtful of late. Life itself is good, but the "inner landscapes" (oh, some of my friends are gagging right now) need some attention. I just might keep some of that to myself...